I’ve just realized, that with one exception, the only person I’ve seen or interacted with in the last two weeks has been E. Now I love E to death do us part, but I think I need to step away from the novel I’m trying to write, move back from the workbench I’ve been spending so much time at, and maybe actually attempt to have some human interaction.
Because I’m afraid that I may become too used to not interacting with anyone, that I may become too comfortable shutting everyone out and retreating into myself.
I’ve always been a pretty solitary person. I was the weird loner all through school, even though I was also a ‘jock’- starting cornerback on the football team, captain of the lacrosse team… I was still considered weird because I never ‘hung out’. Of course it’s hard to hang out when you are going straight from practice to work, because unlike your fellow students, you have to make rent and pay your bills, and hopefully save up for college… I’m pretty sure that if our yearbook had held votes for ‘most likely to shoot several dozen people from on top of a water tower’ I would have been elected.
I’ve just never been comfortable with ‘normal’ life. I’m not good at geting to know people, or letting them get to know me.
Which is a big part of the reason one of my majors in college was Theatre Arts. While I had no intention of becoming an actor, and I took the technical theatre option, at least I learned how to act a little more ‘normal’, and more importantly, how to speak in public…
Since then I’ve taken jobs in retail, was a teacher for awhile (Culinary Arts… not a stretch for me, but it was actually really enjoyable. The thing I am most proud about having been a teacher is the fact that former students of mine still reach out to me for advice. five years after I stopped teaching. That’s got to count for something, right??)